A baby's death is one of the most devastating experiences any parent could face. Nothing can take away the pain or fill the baby's place in your heart. But it may help to acknowledge your grief and share feelings with others who have had similar losses.

Shawna Ehlers, Ph.D., is an assistant professor of psychology at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. Here she answers challenging questions about coping with infant death.

It's important to find social support for your grief. Acknowledging the loss of your baby — as well as your lost hopes and dreams for the baby's future — is an important part of the grieving process. It's often comforting and therapeutic to connect with other parents who've experienced a similar loss. This can be done through face-to-face support groups or Web sites devoted to grieving the loss of a baby.

Consider professional counseling at any point — especially if you don't feel supported in your grief or you don't notice any improvement within the first six to 12 months.

Grief requires unconditional support. Focus on spending time with friends or loved ones who offer the type of understanding and encouragement you need. Sharing material on infant death from your doctor, support group or helpful Web sites may help others understand what you're experiencing. Avoid being drawn into arguments, however. If you're facing someone who doesn't support your grief, explain that the situation is just too difficult to discuss with him or her.

Everyone copes with grief in different ways. For some parents, it's important to memorialize the baby. You may hold a funeral or memorial service, assemble treasured photos, or store a baby blanket or favorite toy. As you come to terms with your feelings, maintain your physical health. Eat healthy foods, exercise regularly and spend time with supportive friends and loved ones.

Parents who end a much wanted pregnancy — or carry a pregnancy to term knowing the baby won't survive — carry a heavy emotional burden. If others pass judgment on their decision, feelings of isolation complicate the parents' grief. They may even be afraid to share their stories. Support from an understanding grief group or professional counselor can be invaluable.

Grief can cloud much of the remaining good in life, especially in the period right after a baby's death. You may find it difficult to invest renewed hope and excitement in any part of your life — but learning to continue living is part of the grieving process. For help making the adjustment, seek support from other parents who've been able to find solace in living. When you're ready, participating in family activities and special occasions can remind you that you're loved and supported.

Accepting your partner's response to grief can be one of the most challenging aspects of grieving as a couple. It can be tough to accept your partner's coping mechanisms if they don't fit your concept of grieving.

For example, perhaps you feel closer to your baby by talking about him or her every day — but your partner copes by looking toward the future. If you don't recognize these differences, you may wonder whether your partner supports you or even cares about the loss. But the differences don't need to pull you apart. To strengthen your relationship, work toward compromises.

You might agree to limited discussion times, encouraging the more talkative partner to supplement the need for conversation with understanding friends or support groups. To respect the other partner's need to look ahead, schedule a social event once a week during which you agree to focus on the pleasurable aspects of your life together.

As time goes on, your grief will begin to fade. Eventually you'll find it easier to engage in other aspects of life. The first anniversary of the baby's death and other poignant reminders will be difficult, but they'll get easier with time. Sadness surrounding your baby's death may never go away, but with time it may more closely resemble remembrance than heart-wrenching grief.